August 26, 2006

Okay, so my plan of doing a lot of updates hasn't really worked out too well. Then again, if you look at the rest of the site, I haven't done much of anything recently. Not much reading, only two movies in all of the month of August, and definitely no major life updates. Sorry about all that, I guess...but between getting ready for baby and being back into the swing of school, time has not been much on my side for sitting down to update.

Not, honestly, that you've been missing out on much. Classes are going well; it seems, in general, that this school year is going far better than the last. The kids seem happier, faculty more enthusiastic, disciplinary problems down...all in all, some nice things around the school. And my newspaper class is going fairly well, too. The kids in there are great, and very hard-working. Now, money is a bit of an issue...

Which leads me to a quick derail. I knew, when I took over the newspaper, that I had some sad little computers. I didn't realize how sad until last week, when I went to get a floppy disk out of computer 2 (we have--had, more correctly--four computers).

There was no eject button.

So I turned to one of my editors and asked how I was supposed to get the disk out. She replied that she had forgotten to tell me--we only had two eject buttons among the four computers, so we shared them among them. She popped the button out of her computer and handed it to me.

At this point, I started laughing uncontrollably. It didn't help when she warned me about ejecting disks--the buttons have a tendency to pop out at your face, and if we lose one, we're screwed.

Seriously--how can that NOT be funny?

Anyways, we're working on sales and whatnot as we speak, as well as finalizing the first issue--should be ready for sale in a week.

Moving on to other issues...we are on high alert for baby watch. Yes, I know he's not due until September 12, but when Maria went to the doctor on Monday, turns out she's already somewhat dilated, 90% effaced, and the baby has dropped to -1 station. All of which basically means that she could begin labor at any point. Obviously, when I can, I'll update this when anything happens.

So, you ask, if the baby is not here, and you haven't watched movies, Josh, what have you been doing? Well, here are my habits/passions as of late:

• getting through this third (and possibly best) season of Deadwood
• enjoying making my way through the entire run of Futurama and realizing what a truly great show it really is. If episodes like "Luck of the Fryish" don't convince you, nothing will. But seriously, this has become one of my favorite shows, and even Maria likes it.
• enjoying Muse's brilliant video for their song "Knights of Cydonia"
• watching odds and ends on the free Net TV station GBStv
• playing, as always, on the SomethingAwful forums
• working on planning weeks in advance in case of baby arrival
• packing bags for the hospital trip
• psyching myself up to go see 2001 on the big screen at the Belcourt
• hanging out with Adam, who was up last weekend and this weekend
• avoiding baby showers, except the one the people from work threw me
• avoiding consignment sales, which my wife has come to crave like a junkie needs heroin
• enjoying the latest Johnny Cash CD, American Recordings V
• cracking up at the latest trailer mash-up, The Big Wazowski

And, I'm sure, many other things that only really matter to me. So, have I been busy? Yeah...but not in any really important way.

Still, I'll keep you updated. And, before I go, I want to leave you with this inspirational story. I know, I know...but read all the way through this one, and I promise, you'll find a beautiful moral.

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good minute the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later the man was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over near where they were standing at the rail.

The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

August 6, 2006

Well, I'm at least going to try to have more updates this month than last. Given that I only managed to make one update all of last month, that shouldn't be too hard. Although the irony of trying to have more updates when I am now back to work and having the baby coming soon (as opposed to July, when I was mostly off work and had some pre-baby time left) is not entirely lost on me...still, I'll do what I can, I guess.

So, yes. I am back to school. For those of you who don't know, Wilson County is on what is officially termed the "year round" system, even though that in no way means that we go year round. Rather, it's a shorter summer, and the year is punctuated with two-week breaks every nine weeks. Honestly, it's an awesome deal, and I know the teachers love it. It makes it a lot easier to get through some bad days when you know there's always a two week break not too far in the future (at the very least, closer than it would be in a standard school year layout). The students seem to like it, too, for many of the same reasons...so, we honestly don't get too many complaints about being back too early. I think the benefits outweigh the cons (if there are any, a fact I'm not entirely convinced of).

But back we are, and under a new principal, which means some changes around the school. Mostly for the better, I think, although it's a bit too early to see how some of them will affect us in the long term. A lot more accountability in some ways (I have to get back into the habit of turning in my lesson plans a week early, which is a bit tough for me to get back into), but a lot more flexibilty in others. The new principal seems to have a good understanding how just how much work we have to do in general, and thus is understanding with some of the bureaucracy. Not all--after all, he has a job to keep, too--but somewhat, and that change is nice.

Only had my classes for about a week, but they seem like they're going to go well this term. My two English classes are both inclusion classes, which means that a) I will have a large number of special ed students in the room, but also means that b) I will have a second teacher in the room, one who specializes in that. I have to say, it was a bit weird to think about having another teacher in the room at first, but I'm getting used to the idea, and it seems like it might help out a lot. Guess we'll see how the year goes.

My third class, as I think I've mentioned before, is the newspaper of the school, and it seems like it's going to be a blast. Now, the downside here is that, should I fail, everyone will be able to see it...but the upside is having a small class with hardworking kids who really want to be there. And I can't complain about that at all.

So, hopefully, it'll be a good year. Already had my upsetting dose of reality...won't get into too many details here, but suffice to say that I have a kid in one of my classes whose mother felt the need to heavily medicate him/her when the kid was, oh, about ten. How heavy? Try fucking LITHIUM. And that was only one of many, MANY meds (Mom would try them on the kid for a couple of weeks, get dissatisfied, and change them...and, no, no doctor was involved with this). Needless to say, the kid's brain is a little irreparably fried...I read an old paper of the kid's where, in the middle of it, he/she made the comment that "the fairy with the pink boots tells me I'm crazy". Seriously. And it's never mentioned again.

Honestly, it's just heartbreaking. The upside is, the dad apparently got custody, and the kid has been doing GREAT in class so far. Maybe things are healing. I hope so. Honestly, I hope so for my sake, but more for his.

I hate people sometimes.

I guess, then, it's good that I got my sweet birthday present from my dad last week (two weeks ago?): the complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes. It's almost 24 pounds worth of Calvin strips, artwork, poems, and everything else Watterson created. I've said it elsewhere, but it bears repeating: there never was anything like this, and it's a sad thought that there may never be again. It's funny to see how my feelings about the strip change as I've gotten older (much less that I have a son on the way--at times, I was worried for my future); I love it as much as I always did, but it's the serious strips that stick with me now and leave me smiling. Watterson had this strange knack for bringing some real heart into a situation, and not worrying about "was it funny" or not. True, he usually was hilarious--he had great drawings, and wonderful dialogue--but it was the strong characters and the willingness to go to serious situations now and then that really set it apart. It's sad to me that kids today never had a chance to read Calvin and Hobbes, and I gotta tell you: having this set is one thing I'll be able to do for my kid.

Anyways, otherwise, decent enough week. Baby shower last week in Chattanooga was apparently a success--I wouldn't know, as I bailed to go see Miami Vice with Adam (meh). I'll probably see what I can find to do this weekend, too. Hopefully something cool.

Speaking of cool: the Belcourt announced their classic series this week. Holy GOD, does this list of films look amazing or what? I've been waiting for years to see The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in the crazy dream hope I would get to see it on the big screen; now I finally do. But it's September 8-10 that really gets me excited: 2001 ON THE BIG SCREEN.

Of course, that's a couple of days before my son is scheduled to join us. All I can say is, if he needs to be early, he better time it right, dammit!

Hmm, what else? I will say that if you haven't checked out the Vader Sessions video on the Internet, you're missing one of the greatest videos on the web right now. Yes, it's a Star Wars spoof...but a clever one. All they did was re-dub James Earl Jones's Vader dialogue...with other James Earl Jones dialogue. The results are incredibly hilarious, and really well done. (Personally, I like that it starts off more or less making sense; by the end, it's like Vader just went completely insane.) Anyways, check it out if you haven't.

The other brilliant piece of lunacy floating around the web right now is the trailer for the Borat movie coming out in November. As far as I can tell, the movie is genuinely called Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, and it looks like it might just be the greatest movie of all time.

Now, the trailer won't mean anything to you if you don't know anything about Borat, so let me explain: Borat is completely made up. He is he creation of a British comedian named Sasha Baron Cohen, who also created the immortal Ali G. Cohen is a master role-player, and he has but one job: get people to completely look like idiots. His comic timing is brilliant, and his dedication to his act is pretty incredible (there is one episode of the show where he is completely drunk, and never loses his accent or a beat of his conversation). It really is impressive stuff. Of course, the fact that he pisses off people wherever he goes and creates complete lunacy in his path is only a bonus.

Still don't quite get it? This is one of the best Borat pieces of all time. All I can tell you is that he went into a country bar and started singing a song from his "native country" of Kazakhstan. The results...well, just watch them for youselves.

That being said, enjoy the Borat trailer. And, by the way: that rodeo scene? All I know is that, by the time he was done, he had to be escorted out of the arena by police to save his life.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

All right. May have more to say, but Deadwood is on shortly. Have a good one...